Nobody Knows
by Excess
Summary: GokuVegeta When Vegeta ends a secret relationship between him and Goku, Goku realizes that he can't live without his prince and makes a few hard choices...YAOI!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own the idea 'Dragon Ball Z'. I do not own the song 'Nobody Knows'.  
  
Nobody Knows  
  
Part One  
  
By: aqua spirit  
  
This fic was inspired by card number 239 Hero Collection. It's Bluma, young Trunks, and Vegeta standing in front of Capsule Corp. Vegeta looks thin and tiny in casual clothing compared to what he looks like on the show.  
  
'I pretended I'm glad you went away  
  
These four walls closing more everyday  
  
And I'm dying inside  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
Like a clown, I put on a show  
  
The pain is real even if nobody knows And I'm crying inside  
  
And nobody knows it but me'  
  
I look down at my hands. Both of them have blood streaming across, like tiny rivers of red flowing. The beginnings of the little rivers are thin slightly curved little cuts made by my own fingernails. In my moment of rage I had clenched my hands together a bit too tightly, and torn my own flesh. Looking down at my hands reminds me of something, or rather someone.  
  
~We were sparring again in the gravity room. All though we weren't fighting hard, sweat slowly made it's way down my pink stained cheeks. This annoyed him to no end. He was fighting me, while I was fighting the urged to rip his cloths off and kiss him breathless. Suddenly he stops, gives me a disgusted look and walks away. I simply shrug a bit as he bends over, picks up a large tan washcloth and begins to wash his face. He's perfect. Kami even his name is perfect, Vegeta. No, no Prince Vegeta. That's right, my perfect little prince! Well, I can't really say he's mine; he has a wife and children, as do I. We have only really been together once, but if you count all the times I've thought of him while with my wife or even by myself we make love about twice a day. It's been so long since we were together, since I felt myself inside of him. He hasn't changed much in public, or in privet for that matter. He's either completely silent and ignores my attempts at conversation or spitting insults at me. But, I see through him. It's the little things that change. The way he stands closer to the crowd now, and when he thinks no ones watching him he lets his dark eyes linger on me, or when my wife laces my fingers with hers he walks away with his arms crossed over his chest like usual. "Great Galaxy, at least make an attempt to cover yourself up!" He spits out with a bit of a growl in his rough voice, breaking my train of thought. I honestly have no idea what he's talking about, so I look up into his pools of dark chocolate. He looks at me for a moment in annoyance before tilting his head down slightly. Only then, as I look down upon a little tent, do I notice how tight my orange training pants have become. Most people would be more than a little embarrassed, but I almost never get red faced. Well, at least not in embarrassment.  
  
"If you want it gone so badly I know a couple ways to get rid of it, if you're willing to help?" I say this while my eyes run up and down his small form lustfully. Not the right thing to say. He growls, looking up at me with eyes that could kill. This doesn't bother me one bit. In fact, my smile widens as I feel his angry ki rage around me. He's so cute when he's mad. His dark chocolate pools, as I have named them, are narrowing as he begins to breathe heavy with rage. How I long to see those beautiful orbs filled with a sleepy pleasure.  
  
"Fuck off Kakarott!" Vegeta half yells, half growls out at me. I smile and begin to walk toward him. He raises one beautiful gloved hand at me and aims a punch. I block his punch easily by catching his fist in my larger hand.  
  
Now that I've got his hand I find it very hard to let go of it. His small hand hangs lose as he desperately tries to escape my grip. He succeeds, but only for a moment. I manage to catch his wrist. He tries to pull back again, but this time I'm ready for him and I tighten my grip on his wrist. I lessen it a moment later as a slight look of pain crosses his sharp features.  
  
"LET ME GO KAKAROT!" My prince jerks his hand back harder, as if to prove his point.  
  
"Let me go Kakarot, let me go right now, I command you!" He hates not being in control. He has wasted too much energy in our fight to be any match for me now.  
  
"No," I say this flatly and he just gawks at me. I pull his hand to my mouth and gently pull his glove off with my teeth. I feel a bit of guilt when I see the red marks my hand is making on his wrist. He's stopped struggling. As I begin to lick and kiss the tips of his fingers I am reminded just how feminine Vegeta is. He may be a powerful opponent, but he doesn't look it. From his height and on the rare occasion he's dressed in something besides training cloths, I'd say he fits the description of a fourteen or fifteen year old boy. I don't think I'll ever forget the way his hands look, strong and powerful yet thin and delicate. Vegeta isn't like the other sayains I've met; maybe it's from his royal blood but theirs just something different.  
  
I begin to kiss down his well-muscled arm, tasting salty sweet. As I kiss his strong shoulder I pull my prince closer to me, pressing our bodies closer together. He pulls his free hand up, and before I have a chance to react in my lustful state, he gets in one good punch.  
  
After that I push him and myself down to the ground. We wrestle for a moment, but I easily pin him and resume kissing his shoulder. I'm a bit surprised when I feel his hands travel downward and his hot mouth nipping at my ear playfully.  
  
My own hands reach down to where his tail used to be. I begin rubbing that spot firmly. He jumps at first, but then begins to relax into the touch. As his perfect hands entangle themselves in my hair he starts to purr softly.  
  
I can't help myself this moment is just too perfect. The words tumble from my mouth in a moan.  
  
"I love you"~  
  
"Dad hurry up I gotta pee!" It's Goten. I don't know how long I've spent in our bathroom but I'm sure it's well over an hour.  
  
"Gemme a sec and I'll be out!" I yell through the bathroom door cheerfully. I faintly notice the blood from my hands has dripped down to the white tiles of our bathroom floor as I begin to stand up. The tiny teardrops I find, as I look myself over in the mirror above the bathroom sink, do not surprise me. I look... fake. Yes fake is the word. After cleaning the floor and myself up a bit I walk out of the bathroom, cheerful smile firmly in place.  
  
As I walk down the little hall from our bathroom to our kitchen I'm nearly run over by my youngest son heading toward the bathroom. At the end of the hall I make sure to slow my pace. The reason for this is a picture, my favorite picture in the whole house. In this picture Vegeta is standing and holding baby Trunks to his chest, looking very annoyed and disgusted. Baby Trunks is attempting to get as much drool as possible out of his mouth and on to his father's chest. Mirrai no Trunks is standing behind his father looking a bit nervous, and if you don't count Vegeta's hair, is about a head and a half taller than his father. Vegeta hates taking pictures, so since Bulma some how got him to actually pose for one, she made about fifty copies and sent them to everybody she knew. I'm very thankful for that.  
  
I walk into my familiar kitchen to find Gohan seated at the table already, Chi-Chi is pouring bowls of cereal for us. I don't feel bad for her, even though she has had a nasty cold for about a week and hasn't been up to making a full breakfast. It's not because I don't care for her, it's just I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself to care about her problems. Besides I notice when she has a cold, and she doesn't even realize that my hart is broken and I've lost the love of my life. I'm doing it again, it's not her fault Vegeta's gone, yet for some reason I can't help wanting to blame her.  
  
She has no idea that Vegeta and me were ever more than friends. Friends? No I doubt she ever even thought of Vegeta as my friend. Gohan and Goten know somewhat, I'm sure they've smelled his sex on me. I'm guessing Goten had no idea what the smell was anyway. Gohan knows for sure though. He's a smart boy and probably worked out the truth soon enough. I doubt he would ever tell his mother.  
  
Gohan and Chi-Chi haven't been on very good terms since 'it' happened. 'It' is the word we use when talking about Gohan and Videl's divorce, like it's a dirty family secret. I try not to speak of it at all since it makes Gohan so uncomfortable, but Chi-Chi is still talking about it daily. She thinks Gohan should try to win Videl back. It's not her fault; she just has all these ideas about how everyone's perfect life should be. Videl wants Gohan back too, but I know it isn't happening, any chance she has of getting him back is gone now.  
  
When it came time to find living arrangements for Pan she used her father's money to her advantage and got really good lawyers. Then she told Gohan that if he didn't come back to her the closest he'd ever get to his daughter again was five hundred feet. It nearly worked to, but if money's the game there's no better player than Bulma Briefs. Some how I've never felt guilty about being with Vegeta even if Bulma loves him. Some things just feel right. Pan stays with us six months out of the year.  
  
Gohan came back to stay with us rather than living on his own. I'm glad, not only do I get to spend more time with my son, but also with the education he's got he helps provide a better life for our little family. Some things have changed with him though. He no longer listens to his mother's rants about how he should act or raise his daughter. In fact a couple of months ago Mirai Trunks came to visit and he crushed any hope of Chi-Chi's about him going back to Videl. He and Gohan spent almost every day until the time machine was charged again together. But, Chi-Chi could ignore that. What she couldn't ignore was when we all had gathered at Capsule Corp. to send him off and say goodbye. When it came time for Gohan to say goodbye, he pulled Mirai Trunks into a hug that lasted about a good three minuets while making him promise to come back as soon as he could. Then it happened. Gohan and Mirai Trunks joined lips in a very tender kiss. I thought it was sweet.  
  
after that all hell broke lose at the Son household. I don't even want to recall some of the things that were said under this roof.  
  
I am returned from my daydream world by a firm knock on our front door. Then Goten yelling, "I'll get it," from upstairs. As he's saying this I finish with my third bowl of cereal. Funny I don't remember starting on my first. When he dose get the door Trunks walks in. He looks almost exactly like Mirai Trunks, maybe a bit shorter. "Sit down, I'll be ready in a sec," Goten says and then heads back upstairs. As he takes a seat next to Gohan a blush forms on his young face. I guess he still hasn't gotten over seeing Gohan kissing his Mirai self.  
  
He notices me looking at him and gives a smile. I wonder as I smile back if my smile looks that fake and forced. He still misses his papa. Kami, I wish Vegeta would come back to me. To all of us.  
  
A/N: ~If you haven't guessed this means a memory~. This will be a five part fic. The spelling and grammar are really bad, I know. This chapter is mostly just a flash back. This is kind of a song fic since each chapter is going to have a part of the song in it. Please review!  
  
- Aqua spirit 


	2. 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the idea 'Dragon Ball Z'. I do not own the song nobody knows.  
  
Nobody Knows Ch. 2 Authoress: Aqua_Spirit  
  
Why didn't I say  
  
The things I needed to say  
  
How could I let my angel get away  
  
Know my world is tumbling down  
  
I can say it so clearly  
  
But your know where around ....  
  
Why I did this to myself, I don't think I'll ever know .I mean he was mere feet from me, waiting for my arms to wrap around him, but I just stood there. Not that I just stood there, it wasn't just that: I stood there with her.  
  
~ It was another big party at capsule corp. we've done this a million times, but this time was different. I'm sure as he felt it too, or maybe he planned it, I'm not sure.  
  
Bulma was making her usual 'I'm so happy we could all be together' speech, but I, like most everybody else, had lost interest.  
  
I couldn't stop staring at him, with his torn up dark blue training clothes and a frown set firmly in place.  
  
I know Vegeta like I know myself, even if he looked the same on the outside, something was troubling him within. When you love someone as much as I love Vegeta, you just know when something is off.  
  
He was standing near the window of the dinning room Bulma had chosen for this occasion. To anyone else he was just like always; distant and pissed- off, but to me he held a nervous slouch, like something was weighing him down.  
  
Usually I would turn my head upward and to the side. He had once mentioned that he thought I looked best this way, to him it was just a little comment, but to me it meant so much more. So trying to look my best to catch his attention was my main goal at these little parties, but as I mentioned before this time was different.  
  
I'm a bit distracted by the carts of food capsule corp. employees are bringing out now. Great tray of meats, breads, cheeses, fish, fruits, vegetables, and sweets are neatly piled on the table before us. I begin piling my plate with everything in reach; I tend to eat a lot when I'm worried. I vaguely notice kurrin sit next to me while stuffing my face to rid myself of my worries.  
  
"Well, are you or aren't you going to sit down and eat with the rest of us?" Bulma whinny voice reaches my ears about half way through a platter of shrimp I had stolen from Yamcha's side of the table. Almost all eyes are on Vegeta as he growls out his reply.  
  
"Shut up! Baka woman, I eat when I'm damn good and ready and no sooner than that!" He says in a sort of thick irritated voice. It doesn't sound like him.  
  
Bulma, probably used to it by now, just turns back to her food with a bit of a put-out expression on her thin face.  
  
"Hmpf!" my wife puts in coldly as she throws a napkin down on the table rather savagely to accent her point.  
  
Most of dinner goes by smoothly, and by dessert almost all worries are gone. I let my eyes drift to my right, where my wife Chi-chi is currently sitting. Her hair is a bit messy and her face is pretty flushed. The pink in her cheeks spreads to her nose and up her forehead. When she notices my stare she gives me a 'Bedroom eyes' look and giggles while taking another deep drink of the dark red liquid in her glass. I give her a small smile and turn my attention elsewhere, to Vegeta.  
  
He seems to be sitting on the window seal, but instead of avoiding my gaze he is staring directly into my eyes with a look of daggers. I give my prince what I hope was an apologetic look, while he turns his head away shaking it in disgust.  
  
I know firsthand how possessive Vegeta can get, but he's never showed any sign of it in front of anyone else. As I look at his smaller form I can't help but start to worry again. It appears he didn't even bother to change his clothes after training this afternoon. A very stubborn look is on his face now. It almost looks like a pout from this angle, I muse while tilting my head down slightly.  
  
"Hey buddy!" I hear Kurrin say while patting my back, "Can I 'ave a hug?" It appears Chi-chi isn't the only who had a little too much to drink.  
  
"Don't ya love me no more c'mon! Don't ch'ya c'mon," Kurrin begins ranting.  
  
"Shut up you!" #18 says as she roughly pulls him away, giving him a hard smack 'round the head. I always liked her, she reminds me of Vegeta in some ways.  
  
Speaking of Vegeta he seems to be good and ready to eat, because the servants are bringing some food out now. He takes a seat next to me. I'm a little nervous he usually sits next to Bulma where there is a seat clearly saved for him.  
  
Vegeta sitting next to me seems to change the world. This whole dinner I've been staring at him and trying to him and the worried feeling he gives me out of my mind. Now I'm not even willing to look at him, for fear of meeting his eyes, and racking my brain for things I could've done to make him angry.  
  
Staring around I see beautiful purple curtains, a lush royal blue carpet, and violent pink flowers.  
  
Vegeta taps on my shoulder, and I look over, tilting my head down.  
  
"A word?" He asks politely. His small gorges hand is still resting on my shoulder as I stumble for a reply.  
  
"Um...Er," oh come on I know this word! "Y-yeah, sure 'Geta!" I say rather awkwardly, the last part sounding a bit too cheerful and eager, while the fist part sounding nervous and unsure. As we walk through the dinning hall Vegeta grabs my hand, I try to pull away, but he held it firmly.  
  
Dear god, it's a wonder how I've survived, living this lie for so long anyway. Now I'm being too dramatic, it's just, the man of my dreams is right beside me, shamelessly holding my hand, in front of both our wives.  
  
That leads me to thinking, did Vegeta ever marry Bulma? I mean she wears a ring and says 'my husband', but I'm sure he didn't buy the ring. I also can't see Vegeta all dressed up in a tux standing in front of a priest reciting vows. But then again, I couldn't believe my ears when Trunks said who his father is. I wish I could've seen Vegeta's face when he first found out he was going to be a daddy. I wonder how bulma broke the news to him.  
  
The thought of this only depresses me, I'll never be able to do that for him. Bare him a child, an heir. I hope that's what keeps him with Bulma, Trunks. Because if not that, then maybe it's the gravity room. You see I've worked out several reasons why Vegeta would stay, without having any feeling besides friendship for bulma. That may sound a bit....  
  
Smack!! My train of thought is deeply interrupted as I find myself being flung across the yard.  
  
"Dammit kakarot! I'm not going to put up with any more of your shit!" A very angry Vegeta screams while glaring at me as far as I can tell, my eyes don't seem to be working properly.  
  
"What!" I scream out a lot louder than I intended to.  
  
Now I've done it. Chi-chi is currently running across the lawn to me, followed closely by the rest of the guest from the party. She finds me still sprawled across the lawn, which seems to have taken a lot more damage than me.  
  
"Can't you just let things be peaceful around here for one day Vegeta!" Bulma yell out, slightly out of breath.  
  
"Of course that blood-thirsty lunatic can't!" Chi-chi replies for Vegeta. I'm not paying much attention to her as she throws her arms around my neck.  
  
Vegetas eyes are locked with mine as the whole party stares on.  
  
Tell them kakarot tell, tell them now!" Vegeta commands with a look I've never seen before in his beautiful eyes.  
  
I stare back at him with questioning and fearful eyes. /What does he mean tell them?/  
  
"What do you mean tell 'tell them'? Tell us what?" Bulma repeat my thoughts aloud sounding fearful and worried.  
  
I tell you what he means, he's finally gone completely mad!" Chi-chi spits out in rage.  
  
"Tell them everything kakarot! Everything now!" Vegeta growls out still staring at me.  
  
"C'mon Goku get up, we're going home now." Chi says as she stands up and begins to dust herself off.  
  
Vegeta just stares at me blankly as I stand up.  
  
I'm sorry Bulma, it's just we can't... stay." Chi-chi finishes in an almost tearful voice.  
  
Vegeta is still staring at me as Chi-chi wraps her small delicate arm around mine.  
  
"Tell them kakarot, tell them," Vegeta says again, but this time in a softer almost desperate sounding voice.]  
  
I consider for a moment telling everybody everything. My family Gohan, Goten, Chi-Chi, our little house, my perfect little world...I can't loose that. I keep my head down.  
  
By now even my clueless innocent chi-chi knows something must be up.  
  
"Goku?" She says in an innocent and fearful voice that makes me melt for her.  
  
"Goku, what is he talking aboutt? Goku?" Chi-Chi says while tugging on my arm.  
  
I look up and at Vegeta "I-...I" Vegeta has a bit of hope in his eyes. "I don't know." I say while tearing my eyes away from his.  
  
A look of shock and sadness washes over Vegeta's beautiful face. Only for a moment, a fraction of a second does it stay before being replaced by one of raw anger.  
  
"Coward!" He spits out before vanishing in a flash of violent blue tinted light. I fell a deep hurt in my chest as his ki moves further and further away.~  
  
Authors note: O_O She finaly updated*shock*. Spelling and grammar are off in this chapter, way off. I plan to update more than twice a year, really. 


	3. 3

Andrince

Nobody knows

Part 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the song nobody knows. I do not own the idea Dragon ball Z.

Warning: This story contains relationships of a homosexual nature (slash).

The nights are lonely

The days are so sad

And I just keep thinkin' about

The love that we had

And I'm missin' you

And nobody knows it but me

"So where're we goin' today Trunks?" Goten yells from down the hall.

"I'm not sure yet," Trunks replies in a soft meaningful tone. This is Trunk's 'not in front of them' voice.

I feel Gohan's and Chi-chi's attention go straight to the boys as I pour another bowl of oatey O's.

They don't want us to know what they're doing, this is nothing new. It's been happening a lot lately, which is always unnerving. I've got nothing better to do today, I may follow. Just to make sure it's nothing too dangerous.

"How long will you be gone?" Chi-chi asked while beginning to clear the table. It's a good thing she's here to help me ask the questions. It's not that I don't care what our sons do, well it is that a little bit. And it's not that I just have the every flowing fountain of trust for my sons, it couldn't be further from the truth when it comes to Goten. Maybe it's just I can never time the 'trusting but still interested in your life innocently' parenting questions right. Or the fact that if I really wanted to it would be east to sneak up on them.

"Well we were planning on spending the day out," Trunks said shakily to Chi-chi. Trunks hasn't really been normal around Chi-chi since he heard one of her and Gohan's arguments. It was a few weeks after the farewell party incident. I'm not sure whether Trunks thought she was screaming about him being a trashy brainwashing slut or his other self. He was only outside for a couple of minutes before he flew off. Goten probably explained it to him anyway. He took it the hardest during the fights, usually 'running away' to Trunk's or crying by the laundry room.

"Would you like something to eat, Hun? We have some more cereal of I could make you some eggs?" Chi-chi says sweetly to Trunks while giving me a narrowed eye look and saying 'you' very sharply, meaning she wont make me any eggs. Too bad, eggs sound good.

One thing I always found odd was Chi-chi never blaming Trunks. She thought his other self was the devil with lavender hair, but I never heard one word against him. I thought for sure she'd want Goten to never see him again, but she never said a word about it.

"No thanks, I've had breakfast already," Trunks' awkwardly cheerful reply reaches my ears. Maybe it was because of Goten. He can be so emotional at times. He practically dropped out of school, and still runs away if she yells too much. A bad word against Trunks might make him stop eating again. He went nearly a week last time.

"Are you sure? You look thin, you're always welcome here at supper."

"Thanks," Trunks say thru a small smile, at least it looks genuine.

"Goten! I'm sure he has better things to do than wait on you all day!" Gohan yells while giving Trunks a smile.

Trunks' whole body seems to seize up and the blush appears instantly on his young face. I can see the amusement dancing in my eldest sons eyes, and I hear Trunks swallow rather loudly.

"I'm almost finished anyway." Goten's reply sounds closer. He emerges from the hall dressed in khakis and a loose fitting white T-shirt. He's gotten a lot slimmer lately, or maybe it just looks that way because he stopped training.

He picks up a nearby glass of orange juice and takes a drink. A look of disgust washes over his face as he hurriedly swallows. He always forgets after he brushes his teeth. Chi-chi rolls her eyes used to his absentminded behavior.

"You're not going too far? I want you home for supper," Chi-chi asks while giving him a searching stare.

"I'll be here," Goten says while motioning Trunks toward the door.

"Be safe," Chi-chi calls after them.

"I think you should follow them," she adds to me.

Authors note: It's a short chapter, but another one at least. I remember having a lot of fun while writing this part, I'm glad it finally made it up. Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter 2 of Nobody Knows. Special thanks to Goku's Angel! My Apologies for never updating, I'm hoping to change that. I also have another fic up, Oasis for anyone who's an HP fan. Please review.

Andrince


	4. 4

Nobody Knows

Part 4.

Andrince

Diclaimer: DBZ and Nobody Knows aren't mine.

"I carry a smile when I'm broken in two

And I nobody without someone like you

I'm trembling inside and nobody know it but me

I lie awake, it's a quarter past three I'm screaming at the night

As if I thought you'd hear me

Yeah my heart is calling you

And nobody knows it but me"

"Yes, I would too, But I have class" Gohan agrees. He stands up and starts toward the hall.

"What time will you be home? Pan's supposed to call around five-thirty. They're taking that vacation this wee, you won't be able to talk 'til next if you miss it," Chi-Chi reminds him.

"I'll try, but if I'm not just have her call my cell, 'Kay? I can tell Chi-Chi doesn't like this idea, but she nods in agreement anyway. She doesn't look up for a yelling match today, she looks pale and the thin lines on her forehead and eyes are more defined.

"Are you going to check on the boys yet?" She asks with a bit of a tired sigh.

"Well I'll give them a little time first. They might spot me if I try now," I say while focusing on the boys' energy. They're flying toward capsule corp.

"You, at least, will be home for pan's call, wont you? I asked Goten and he wont be here. Do we want her to think our whole family has better things to do?" She asks in a pleading voice.

"I'll try really hard," Lie. I don't fell like coming back so soon. Pan won't mind much anyway; I'm always awkward on the phone.

She's not satisfied with my answer either, but I decide to cut in before she can say something.

"I think I'll head out now, I wanted to get some meditating time in today," I say while standing.

"Love you," She callas I make my way to the door.

I wave at her though the kitchen window in reply. I walk the narrow dirt road a while, a mile or two. I think of him as I walk. Vegeta always walked a lot. Especially if something was bothering him. May be it helped him think; maybe it will help me think. But then again, maybe not, I need a quiet place to sit and think. The dirt is still soft after last weeks rain, the sun is out but it's not beating down harshly. The breeze ruffles my hair as I quicken my pace to a jog.

I feel the wind become harsher as I take off, flying at a low level. My pace is slow, but steady as I decide where to go.

I fly for a time, maybe an hour. Thoughtless, just drifting, I make my way to one of my favorite spots. As the tinkle of water falling on rocks reaches my ears I land with a soft thud.

The small waterfall, usually no more than a trickle looks more like a small river today. With rain in mid-may and temperatures in the 90's the small 8ft waterfall is rushing.

Quickly spotting some shade fairly close to the water I throw myself down on the soft damp grass.

I lie there a moment, lost in thoughts of Vegeta. My mind lands on the last time I was here. He was here with me. As I roll over nudging my face into the cool fresh grass the memories come back to me.

_"And why in the hell would you bring me here?" Vegeta asked half-heartedly._

"'_Cause," I say happily, excited to have finally convinced Vegetas to visits one of my favorite spots. "It's beautiful and no one comes here except me. No one knows where it is." I finish pointedly._

_He stops for a second the says thoughtfully "But it wouldn't take them much if they wanted to, all they would have to do id find our energy."_

_I pause taken back for a second at Vegeta's open display of fear of being caught._

"_Oh, 'Geta you worry to much." I say the turning to him I add, "no one'll see us."_

_A twinge of pink decorates his pale cheeks as he adds," I wasn't worried about them."_

"_Then neither will," I reply not completely truthful. Vegeta meant he wasn't worried about his family finding out about us. I meant that I wasn't worried about my family finding out about us today._

_I knew that both my boys had things planed, and even if they didn't it's rare for them to come find me in the day._

_"Come on, let's just enjoy the day. I brought blueberries." I say opening my nap sack in search of the blanket and seeing the small plastic containers. Vegeta once mentioned blueberries tasted like something that used to grow on his home planet, as I remember it he said the plant looked a lot like fat bananas and grew to be about a foot long under really moist ground._

_I spread the thin blue blanket over the grass and look around for Vegeta. He' sitting on a flat rock near the water, staring up at the overcast sky. It was pretty cold that day near the end of winter._

_Vegeta had his arms wrapped around his compact chest and an oddly say expression on his youthful face. I walked toward him with the intention of wrapping my arms around him too, but as I approached the rock he quickly stood up and side stepped me._

_He walked over to the blanket and sat down near the edge without looking at me. I settled for taking Vegeta's spot on the rock, not wanting to anger him with more attempts. He was in a very strange mood today, I could tell as soon as I arrived for our usual training. He announced quickly that he wasn't in the mood for sparring. Even stranger is when he asked a bit awkwardly if we cold do something else._

_You could only imagine my surprised delight._

_But now things were all mixed up, I thought while looking over at a Vegeta that was still avoiding my gaze._

_Usually I'd know I wasn't going to get what I wanted, but I'd press him for it anyway. Now I might get what I want, but I couldn't press him for it in case he changed his mind. The waiting was killing me._

_I watched Vegeta pull his legs close to his chest and wrap his arms around them. He laid his head on his knee still with a sad board expression on his beautiful face._

_"If you're cold I've got an extra blanket love," I told him wanting to fill the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between us._

_Vegeta gives me a look and snorts at the nickname, before scooping up the nap sack I had left near the blanket._

_In a matter of seconds he's wrapping a think deep purple blanket around his shoulders and opening a clear plastic container. He shifts the contents of the container around a bit before choosing two or three of the tiny berries and popping them into his mouth._

_A bitter smile forms on his luscious lips, as he appears to be lost in thought. After a couple of minute he speaks in a sort of choked voice._

_"Want some?"_

_I walk over and take a seat near him reply. He hands me the container and I quickly choose a handful of berries without taking my eyes off Vegeta After a moment he opens one side of the blanket that was draped over his shoulder in an invitation._

_I immediately accept, scooting closer to my prince. Our bodies touching I wrap my arm around his waist underneath the blanket. When he doesn't show any sign of pulling away I pull him closer, pressing his small form against my side._

_"I love you," I whisper in his ear._

_"Don't say that," he says, not in his usual annoyed voice, but a softer one._

_"Why? It's true," I say startled by his odd behavior._

_"Because I don't want to hear it." He looks up and tells me, sounding more like his usual self._

_"But you do feel the same, don't you? I ask._

_"Leave it,"He growls in a dangerously low voice._

_"You love me." I tell him in an almost pleading voice._

_He doesn't answer, but after a moment he exhales deeply and turns, laying his head in my lap._

_I begin stoking his hair as he looks over at the water._

_"It is quite pretty here,' he say apologetically._

_I bend down and kiss his forehead._

_"Glad you like it, we'll have to come again on a better day," I say looking up at a sky that was clearly threatening rain._

_"Today's perfect," Vegeta says as he rubs my bare ankle with his fingertip._

_I chuckle before voicing something that had been on my mind most of the day._

_"You're very agreeable lately, huh? You've been acting strange today," I say a bit nervously._

_"Hnn," is all he says before lifting my shirt and beginning to kiss my stomach._

_Amazed that Vegeta has decided to make the first move it's takes me a second to remember to remove my shirt to allow more access._

_He kisses his way up my chest to my shoulder, then to my neck._

_He shifts positions and sits in my lap, wrapping hiss powerful legs around my waist._

_By the time his soft wet lips reach mine, my breathing his heavy and uneven. His velvet tongue enters my awaiting mouth and runs along my teeth. After a few minutes of passionate kissing he removes his lips and I fall backward onto the cold blanket gulping for air._

_He lays his head on my bare chest, tracing his finger lazily around my hard nipple._

_I feel cold unwelcome droplets of rain landing on my bare skin. His breath warm on my chest he says, "I do.."_

_Drifting out of my lustful haze I reply drowsily, "Huh?"_

_"Love you." He replies softly. _

I'm left lying there, the pain in my chests seems to have spread to my entire body. All the way to my hands, which feel so weak I can't even close them.

Time seems to move differently after Vegeta left, I feel as if hours can drag on forever, but days leave me so quickly. I can't bring myself to believe he's been gone six months almost.

The tears seemed to have stopped now, leaving my damp face raw and puffy. They stopped somewhere around late afternoon, but it's night now I think while looking up at the star soaked sky.

I try to wonder where the day went. Somewhere in the hours of regret in left me, and I'm left staring up at the cold night sky.

I try and fail to get up several times, but my trembling limbs refuse. S I settle on lying here asking myself how I went back to this again.

I thought I had past this point. When he first left me I would spend hours crying, and then worry about where the day went after.

But just when I seem to have taken a step forward, I slip on an old memory and fall right back into my regrets.

_Why didn't I say it? I knew I would have to sooner or later. Why didn't I just end the lies there? Why did he have to go?_

As if expecting an answer the word, "Why?" escapes my mouth in a violent scream.

I slam my fist into the ground, the dirt collapsing under the pressure as more questions come to me.

_Why didn't I do it there? That day when he first started acting strange? Why didn't I do something?_

Bu then I realize I did do something, didn't I? I had been worried all day and I had asked him. He didn't answer…

My anger suddenly redirected I got to my feet and started screaming at the empty night air.

"Dammit Vegeta! How could you leave us! How could you leave me? You said you loved me! You said you fucking loved me you stupid bastard!" My voice is raw and sore as I scream as loud as my lungs will allow. Feeling weak again I collapse onto my hands.

On all fours trembling and crying I begin to speak again, my voice hoarse and low, "I love you, why did you go?"

The questions begin again; my mind always seems to torment me more when I'm broken.

_Why did you go? Was it me? Is that why you needed proof that day? Did I make you unsure? Did someone find out? Did you plan it?_

They flow in my unwilling mind. I do my best to answer them with the memories I have, but it never seems to satisfy me.

I'm almost certain of one thing though, I'm sure he planed it. Or at least expected it. He'd been acting strange for months before he left, why didn't I expect it? I should have. It all seems so clear now. Why didn't I see it then?

I lie there a while, doing my best to answer my busy minds questions. Then the most important question that had been plaguing my mind since Vegeta left returns as it always does.

_Where did you go?_

I felt Vegeta's energy leave the earth about an hour after it happened. He left so quickly I didn't have time to react; all I did was sit there numb beside Chi-chi with shock and disbelief.

I remember bursting in to tears before we g9ot home and her cursing Vegeta for upsetting me and trying to comfort me.

I stand up shakily and decide to find the answer to this question first.

_This means a memory or ._

_Author's note: You have no idea what I went through to type this chapter. It was a nightmare. I lost the floppy I had half of it typed on, I had to rewrite over two pages of typing. Then for some reason, it didn't save. Had to retype the whole thing, but thankfully now I write it out on paper before attempting to type I and didn't have to rewrite anything. It's rather discouraging, having to rewrite something. I never feel it's as good as the first. But anyway I hope it was worth it. I'm hoping to finish this fic rather soon. I have a few other fics you might want to take a look at. Thanks to __Mighty Agamemnon, An Angel's Silver Tear, and x The Chichi Slaughter House x for reviewing the 3rd chapter of Nobody Knows. _

_Please Review! _


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